I’d tell you a secret
But I don’t trust the walls
They lean in when I start to speak.
I’d tell you a secret
But I think you already know
What I am going to say.
I’d tell you a secret
I wouldn’t know
What to do next.
View original 1,112 more words
Happy Memorial Day.
Just laying low today? Relaxing? Searing the flesh of tasty dead animals?
Why not kick back and listen to the latest episode of THE bizarro fiction podcast, Surreal Sermons?
Host Jeremy Maddux invited me back to chat about the struggle to sell books but the conversation took a turn when I talked about almost dying and my recent experience with a rift in the time-space continuum. TRUE STORY.
Yesterday, author Matthew Vaughn posted this piece of Pax Titanus fan art on my Facebook timeline. Matthew is a kickass guy I met though the online bizarro community. He recently released The ADHD Vampire, a fun read that I reviewed right here on my blog.
Mr. Vaughn knows what’s up. As indies, we really only have each other. A rising tide raises all boats. Besides being an author, he is a tireless literary citizen, promoting the work of others with enthusiasm. Indie authors — It’s an ocean of books out there and only by supporting one another do we give our labors of love a chance to find readers and fans.
It was no surprise to me that he would take a moment of his life to sketch the big red guy himself. This excites me to no end…I have no shame in admitting that I love the Pax Titanus universe and all of its characters. Sure, I created them but I would be a fan even if I hadn’t.
Oh the things I want to do! I want to take this world so many places — I want comics and cartoons and more books and action figures and more books and movies and holographic simulations and games and t-shirts and stickers and who-knows-what-else. I have time and money and resources as challenges to face but I have many plans nonetheless.
In this first piece of fan art, I see a bright future and I am encouraged. For any of you who have bought my book, consider whipping up a little something. I will proudly display it here.
Hi Folks, So here’s the deal… I need to sell about 100 copies of Pax Titanus. It’s a serious issue. It means the difference between earning a book contract or well, NOT. So, I have put together a special THANK YOU/ MEGA ULTIMATE FAN PACK for ANYONE who PURCHASES or REVIEWS my latest book, Pax Titanus during the month of May. What’s in the PACK?
AND… If you PURCHASE AND REVIEW, I will throw in a glossy 8 1/2″ x 11″ Glossy print of the Pax Titanus cover art, ready for framing. Pretty cool, right? The conditions are simple:
BUT KIND SIR, I’ve already done both things. I think you are a kick-ass dude. Surely, there’s some love for me? I hear you. I love you. Really. But I’m in a tough spot right now. This might be time to buy a copy for a friend. Time to conspire. You can split the booty. Please share, retweet, send smoke signals, etc. This is a big, desperate times push kind of thing. Let’s throw down.
The ADHD Vampire by Matthew Vaughn
From the back cover:
A cruise ship for retired sex addicts, The U.S.S. Exciter, is the site of a party a lot of people on board will never forget (but some of them will, anyway). Lurking in the cargo hold is Horace Dracul, half-brother of the legendary Dracula, and he dreams of reaching the shores of a country where the blood flows like wine, and bright, shiny lights are seemingly infinite. However, another member of the Exciter’s well-aged population has some secrets of her own: Martha—retired cyborg and ex-spy.
In the grand tradition of slasher-horror literature in which a lot of people are murdered in gruesome ways, The U.S.S. Exciter will host an orgy of violence and sex toys, and an easily-distracted vampire named Horace might have himself a bloody-good time.
If you are a bit tired of the typical vampire fare – sexy vamps, teenage angst vamps, zombie vamps, Will Smith, etc. – but love the genre, I humbly present this quick and funny read from Matthew Vaughn.
Although filled with the ludicrous story elements that make a bizarro book great: things like geriatric swingers, cyborg grannies, and the books’ titular monster (a vampire with honest-to-goodness ADHD), what impressed me the most about the book was that it was clear that the author had done his research.
If you know your Dracula, if you have read the source material that is so often ignored by those who pen blood-sucker stories, you will be most pleased by the fact that although the book is a lightning fast kill-fest where you meet a character just in time to watch them become lunch, it honors the core material and mythology. I found this to be a pleasant surprise. I wish more authors would take the time to go to the origins of a genre before spitting out some inbred trope nightmare.
As mentioned above, it’s a fast read. Vaughn doesn’t dwell in any scene for long, but for a story such as this, it’s obviously appropriate (yes, that’s an ADHD joke). The narrative moves and never takes a breath. Jokes come in and you’re barely done laughing until the next one hits you. There’s plenty of blood and gore and sexy as you buzzsaw through the story.
I had a great time with this book and I look forward to seeing what Mr. Vaughn does next.
Post an honest review for Pax Titanus on Amazon or Goodreads this weekend and I’ll send you some Pax Titanus bookmarks, Leather to the Corinthians stickers, postcards and some mystery items!!!
Just a couple sentences will do. You don’t need to post a book report.
Comment with the link to your review and I’ll handle the rest. Here’s Pax on Amazon for your convenience.
Oh…tell your friends!!! Free stuff for all!!!