I Feel Disgusting
It was a quiet Sunday night
When my wife and I decided
To investigate a street fair
We had only an address
We drove though the darkness
Trees casting swallowing shadows
Weed-choked brick roads
Nary a soul to be found
We searched and searched
Was there a fair at all?
Had our memory failed us?
Did it hide and laugh?
We had to make a choice
End the quest now
Go home or perhaps
Find safe harbor and food?
Food was what we required
But we could not decide
So we drove and drove
Then suddenly, inspiration
Mexican food, the real stuff
And a sign did appear
A ramshackle building
Ominous in its filth
But secrets hide behind
Doors we do not open
So we ventured forth
Unknowing, innocent lambs
A menu like Old LA
A true taco stand
Authentic in every way
My excitement overwhelming
Then the food
Barely identifiable
Swimming in grease
Meat of unknown origin
No confessional can handle this guilt
I feel disgusting , revolting
How could I let this happen?
How could I have made this choice?
My wife’s stomach torn asunder
My shame immeasurable
Damn you, California Burrito Express on Colonial
DAMN YOU TO HELL.
I like how you turned this seemingly true little story into a poem. First rule with restaurants of uncertain quality: Always order vegetarian.
I’m trying to have some fun with more reality-based topics and a bit of self-parody. It’s a nice change of pace, and your advice is well-heeded!
Any missing dogs in the neighborhood? Sorry!
Probably.
Love the confessional and guilt line. . . being the Catholic I am.
Me too, highly lapsed though!
Elmo down! Clean up on Colonial Drive. Rule of thumb: If it has “express” in the name, you are pretty much screwed.
It does seem to be the mark of the inferior
Never know it could be rat meat. but I enjoyed the poem very much I always enjoy reading what you wrote
Thanks!
By the way, MexiGeek that I am, just need to point out that Mexican cuisine (especially Sonoran cuisine) often chooses kid (goat) as a meat source (though the Aztecs apparently did breed small dogs specifically for eating). Also I need to ask: were the tacos hard-shell or soft?
MexiGeek has spoken.
In this case, it was supposed to be chicken fajitas, and I am fairly sure that it was chicken, but they were nasty, greasy little scraps. Soft shell tortillas on the side. I love the fact that you are a MexiGeek, I now have a resource!
eeeeeps… don’t hold back now… you didn’t say though. did you like the meal?
*quickly closes the lid of my laptop.. so the sparks don’t shoot out*
I don’t think I have ever seen greasy Mexican food. blech.
LMAO, you post the best comments. This was truly vile stuff…strangely there are many good reviews for this place on Yelp. These people must be terribly drunk.