A Pause for Station Identification

Another excerpt from my most amazing chainsaw novel, Leather to the Corinthians. In time, I will have snappy audio downloads to complete your experience.

 

Welcome to my cult. I can see that you have been getting very comfortable here. I take one look at you and I think:

This kid is going places.

 

Hey, I don’t have to tell you that. I have no reason to flatter you. Still you can put that little baby in your pocket for one of those unhappy days when the world shits on you and then drops down for several teabags before calling your mom and asking her out on a date that will never happen. Your mother’s self-esteem stock will drop value, but I digress.

This cult, it’s like no other, and I know that you know that.

It’s the true cult of obsession. And where we sit, obsession is a good thing.

 

How do you spend your days? From the moment I rise, I start putting it out there. I have my multiple updates to share with the world, my adoring followers. I use every media channel available, and I have recently started Mental Mind Blogging, which is a fantastic way to spread your awesomeness. People subscribe to your thoughts.

There are many who are obsessed with me. They post their comments, write about me, compose tribute videos, forge holographic slash fictions, and smother me with their buttery love.

 

You could have this.

You could join in the obsession. You could have pundits wax poetically about your lunchtime choices, be the feature of blurbs and cameos.

 

You could have this.

You could have the t-shirts and the posters. You could have the squawkshow gigs and the book tours. You’re going places, kid.

You have to foster the obsession. Right place, right time. Location. Location. Location. You have to pull the strings, push the buttons, walk the walk.

But most of all, you have to be seen.

 

Their cameras are waiting. Their recorders are on. The moment I walk out the door, every breath, every step, every nose pick is documented. It can be a bit jarring at first, but to have a complete tongue bath of attention for doing nothing but walking to your overpriced exotic motor vehicle is a reward beyond value.

 

The obsession is intoxicating.

 

Of course, those folks have a healthy obsession. Money and fame of their own. You are the meat that puts the meat on the table. It’s the circle of life.

They are the conduit to those who will hang on every word and be mindlessly entertained by your trips to the grocery store and regular high colonics. Your shit is their salvation.

They have nothing to live for, they have no greatness to see in the mirror. So they live though you. They find their peace in their obsession with you. The folks outside your door are the vehicle that drives it all.

You will have many fans, many focal points of obsession if you follow my ways. You will have what I have, and maybe, just maybe more.

Careful though, there have been a few that thought stabbing me with a screwdriver was the most appropriate way to display their devotion to me. You might have a sniper or two, so watch your interactions.

It’s really just the cost of doing business, and believe me the business is good.

That look in your eye as I explain the virtues and pitfalls tells me all I need to know about you. You’re hungry and you’re on board. You need that love, you need that attention. You are starving for it. You have a big empty hole inside you and the only solution is the spackle of narcissistic fulfillment.

That’s why you’re here kid. That’s why you found me.

You have that hole, and no matter what you have used: mind-altering substances, flesh trade volunteers, copious consumption. No matter what you did, no matter what the solvent, the hole remained.

Hence, your obsession. And this is why you are here.

 

Welcome to my cult. It’s where you belong.

 

Here you will feed your obsession, and grow it to a healthy size. Here you will learn how to encourage the obsessions of others. You will learn how to trick the human mind into thinking that your mundane life is filled with profound moments that will fulfill them at the most highest levels and fuel their obsession.

It takes time, care, and coordination, but once you get going it’s pretty easy to manage. Sheeple are sheeple, and no offense, they will get obsessed with just about any muthafucka that got a headline.

You should be that muthafucka, I think you have the right stuff kid. Follow my lead, remember that bad PR is good PR, never let them see you sweat, get in trouble now and again to keep them guessing, and work in a redemption story to really grab them.

 

Welcome to my cult.

Their obsession will be your obsession.

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