Hmmm…August is flying down the road and will soon be a memory. Another month down, and another month closer to the end of the year, which as we all know, is the end of the world. *snicker, snort*
Earlier this year, a Flash Fiction piece of mine took second place in a writing contest hosted by The Write Place at The Write Time. The prompt was to use the Mayan 2012 cataclysm and a few choice words. Here’s the prize winning story. Oh, and what was the prize? I got to create the prompt for the new contest, of which there are a few weeks left. You should enter! Go to this link for the details.
Now on with the show…presenting “Hi Mom” for your amusement.
Stan was on the phone with his mother. Which meant that Stan was chained to his phone. It currently weighed 1000 pounds.
Mother was never one for the quick call. When Stan’s phone would ring, and he would look down at its screen to see who was calling, seeing “Mother” was always stressful.
Do I pick up? Do I really have an hour?
Mother not only couldn’t have a quick chat, when time finally came to end the call, she had to say goodbye at least six times, and in as many different ways.
At least half of the time, Stan would just let the call go to voice mail. Today, being the day that it was, he took the path of mercy and picked up the phone.
Today was supposedly the end of the world. December 21, 2012. At least that’s what every talking head had been blathering about for weeks now. Here was the big day, and Stan had pretty much turned everything off, as all the static was giving him a headache.
Mother was fully lathered up. She had always been one of those new age types. Pyramid power, ancient aliens, Bigfoot, ghosts, Ouija boards, angels, all that crap. And she was worried.
Currently, she was grinding on about the Winter Solstice and its importance to Druids. And the little folk.
Little folk? What the hell was she talking about?
Stan had perfected the art of the well-timed affirmative monosyllabic response.
As long as he peppered his end of the conversation with these elements, Mother would continue without question. He just had to wait it out.
Had he taken precautions? Was he sad there would be no Christmas or New Year’s to celebrate?
Stan hadn’t even thought about that stuff. He had been too busy at work to even notice the holidays’ rapid approach. He didn’t really care.
You know this is the apocalypse today? Have you told your friends how much they mean to you?
Yeah. Right. Sure.
Mother was really testing his patience today. He tried to be a good son; it was the right thing to do. But Jesus, it could be really annoying.
The end will bring about the redemption of mankind.
Wow, she was really going at it today.
“Hey Mom, I gotta question for you,” said Stan.
Mother paused. She suddenly seemed very excited. “Go ahead dear.”
“This end of the world thing today. What time zone does it start in?”
“I am not sure I understand, sweetie.”
“Ok, so today is the end of the world. But what time zone determines that? It’s already tomorrow in Japan?”
The answer was not as fun as the question. She didn’t even realize he was messing with her. She went on and on about latitudes, longitudes, and something called ley lines.
For no real reason at all, Stan looked out the window, and noticed a massive burning meteor about to his apartment building.
“Mom, gotta go. Love you.”